Legend of Zelda and the Four Swords of the
by BandGeek58407
Summary: ...Twilight in Majora's Minish Ocarina that Wakes Wind in its Spare Time.[ON HIATUS] All the games combine into this one huge spoof. Please RR


I got the idea for this randomly one day...after buying my first Zelda game (Twilight Princess)...I'm very proud of myself. I actually had Ocarina of Time when I was like, 9, but in the very beginning, I was too scared of that big rolly rock you have to get by to get the first sword so you can leave the village. _sigh. _Oh well. Disclaimer: I own nothing that's copyrighted in this entire thing. So take that, lawyers:P

Chapter 1

It was a quiet, slightly misty morning. A young boy slept soundlessly in a very messy bed located in a small treehouse. A chicken made a disturbing noise in the distance.

All of a sudden, a small, blue light flew in the window and began to buzz around the boy's sleeping head, trying to get his attention. "Hey! Listen!" It yelled in his ear, but to no avail. It flew to his face and continued her rant. "Wake up, it's Navi, dammit!" Navi began to ram into the boy's face repeatedly until he finally began to stir.

His eyes flew open and he grabbed Navi violently and chucked her across the room. Her blue light grew dim as she lay in the corner of the room, and that made the boy, whose name was Link, grin mischeviously.

He walked outside of his treehouse, and stared, puzzled, to his upper right. The words 'Kakariko Village' hung in mid-air and followed him around. He tried to shoo them away, but they tagged along like a dog following a meat-scented mailman. Link shrugged, and jumped down the ladder to the main path of the village.

A kind shopkeeper gave him a friendly wave as Link passed. "Hello, Link my boy! How are you this fine day?"

Link waved back, silent, and continued on his way. The shopkeeper stared after him, very confused. "Doesn't that boy ever say _anything?_" (A/N: I always wonder why they never have him say anything...)

He strolled past the butcher shop, and for some reason, the butcher was chilling on the roof. As soon as he spotted Link, he went crazy, jumping up and down and basically acting like an idiot.

"OOO!!! Z-TARGET ME!!! Z-TARGET ME!!! THAT WAY YOU CAN TALK TO PEOPLE FROM A DISTANCE!!!" he screamed in Link's direction.

Eager to make the butcher shut up, Link whipped out a Nintendo-64 controller and began to press the Z-button furiously. He frowned, and smacked the button onto his knee with much force, but it still didn't work. Completely fed-up, he flung it at the butcher, whacking him right on the forehead and knocking off the roof and into the chicken pen. Another chicken made a disturbing noise.

"Yea, Z-target that!!!" Link yelled towards him. Suddenly, all the villagers had their eyes glued to Link. The silence was deafening. "What are you all staring at?"

A small child carrying a basket of watermelons promptly dropped the basket to point at him. "You _said_ something!!!" The watermelons rolled down the hill and into the butcher's chicken coop; as you would probably guess, yet another chicken made a disturbing noise.

Link grimaced. "Uh-oh." The rest of the villagers dropped what they were doing and began to chase after him. He ran, not wanting to be trampled and/or bombarded by their questions.

He sprinted into the forest, and ducked into a small spring and sighed with relief as the mob continued past. He leaned over, trying to catch his breath. He was only in the spring for ten seconds when a deep powerful voice spoke out of nowhere.

"Link..."

"CHO MY GOD!!!" Link screamed, looking around in vain for someone. "Who's there? Show yourself! I'm not afraid!" He looked around on the ground and picked up a stick, and tried to look threatening. "I-I've got a stick!"

"Put the stick down, son."

Link lowered the stick and raised an eyebrow with suspicion. "You won't...hurt me?"

"Yes, trust the disembodied voice that you've never heard before," the voice said with a sarcastic edge. He (it?) paused. "Just put it down. A stick wouldn't hurt me anyways."

Link hugged the stick protectively. "But...I like it."

The voice sighed, a very long and exaggerated sigh. It went on for nearly a minute, during which it occasionally sounded like a disturbing chicken noise (Din knows he'd heard enough of those that morning). Link slowly set the stick down in front of him, and the voice's sigh ceased. "Very good. Well, Link. I'm sure you've heard of Majora's mask, have you not?"

Link nodded like a small child and still looked a little confused.

"Well, now Majora has a Minish Ocarina."

"Huh?"

"Yes, and it's got the Four Swords..."

"Um..."

"...in the twilight zone."

Link stared up at the sky, squinting in confusion. "So...?"

"Just go after it. You know we disembodied voices love to interrupt your life to run our important errands since...you know, we sort of lack hands to go smack the bad guys. "

Link suddenly looked very eager. "OOO! Can I use my stick to smack the bad guys?"

"NO, I mean...go buy a sword or something. How many rupees—"

"You mean rupee." He shuffled his feet, nervous, and pulled out his wallet and lone green rupee.

The voice did another extended sigh. "You can't buy anything with just one rupee. And make sure Vaati and Ganondorf don't get the Minish Ocarina or the Four Swords."

"I'll see what I can do, 'K?" Link said impatiently. "By the way, why is it so bad if the bad guys have all this stuff?"

"Something bad! Do I really need to tell you? Run along and go save the world." And like that, the voice was gone. Needless to say, Link stayed there and tried to contact it for another few minutes. After he realized he'd wasted precious world-saving time, he dashed back to the village and saw Princess Zelda leaning against a tree. Excluding her, the village was abandonned. "Zelda! Why aren't you back at the castle?"

She sighed, tossing her hair. "Can't a girl come to a really tiny village every once in a while? Geez."

He starred at her, saying nothing for a while. "No really, what's up?"

Looking defeated, she sighed and walked dejectedly up to where he was standing. "I lost my alter ego," she finally muttered.

"Sheik? How do you lose Sheik? You are Sheik!" Link said rather loudly due to his confusion.

"I don't want to talk about it, alright? I'm just trying to find myself!"

Link grinned and rolled his eyes. "Sounds profound." He started to circle her. "Too bad I can't help you. I've got to go save the Four Swords from Majora, Vaati, and Ganondorf for some disembodied voice."

She grabbed him by the shoulder and stopped his pacing. "Again? Those voices never can seem to leave you alone." She paused as a look of horror flashed across her face. "What if that _was_ Vaati or something?"

"You and your conspiracy theories," he said, shrugging her grip off. He walked over to Epona's stable and brought her out, getting her ready for the trip.

"So..." Zelda sighed. "Where are the Four Swords?"

"In Majora's Minish Ocarina...in the twilight realm."

She looked around, puzzled. "Where's that?" Before she knew it, Link had spun her around and had her facing the west where the clear blue sky turned a ghastly orange and black. "Oh..."

Link dropped Epona's saddle and starred at her. "OK...let me get this straight. You leave the castle and all of a sudden you're really stupid."

She completely ignored him, still fascinated with the twilight sky. "Halloween!" she said, resembling a small child.

"Zelda, we don't even celebrate that here."

She turned and ran up to him with great enthusiasm. "I love candy! Can I have a Snickers bar?"

"NO."

"Please Link?" She stuck out her lower lip and tried to look sad.

Link hurriedly hopped on Epona. "Go find Sheik. Leave me alone!" Right as he was about to head off, He felt Zelda hop on as well.

"Yay! Car trip!"

He turned around, confused. "You mean horse trip?"

"Car trip!"

Seeing he already lost the futile battle, he started off with Epona and the low-IQ model of Zelda, muttering incoherently to himself as they rode out into Hyrule Field.

XXXXX

Yay! I hope you enjoyed it! Please review! Note that this will not be updated for a while since I have like 2 or 3 other things I'm working on currently. This will be finished, though, don't you worry.


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